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Another Look In The Mirror

·264 words·2 mins
Daniel Andrlik
Author
Daniel Andrlik
Daniel Andrlik lives in the suburbs of Philadelphia. By day he manages product teams. The rest of the time he is a podcast host and producer, writer of speculative fiction, a rabid reader, and a programmer.

I, as I have recently realized, am an arrogant fuck. I have always been to some degree been aware of this, but it always seemed easy to justify before. I am not pleased with this revelation about myself, especially as I have always had a certain impatience with people I perceive as condescending. But, as I look over the personal work I have written over the course of the last few years it seems that too often my written work becomes a bit of a lecture.

When I am in person with someone, I am usually somewhat reserved and I try to see empathize and see both sides of the issue, but I think that means I just end up being more arrogant about my conclusions. Perhaps that is justified, perhaps not.

When I did the Nonfiction Workshop (the undergraduate one, nothing to get too excited about) at UofI, my instructor did not like how my personal essays tended to sound preachy as if I was “teaching” someone. I did not see it that way, I thought I was teaching myself and by writing and sharing that process letting others learn from my mistakes. But, others in the workshop thought there were moments where I used too much judgement as well.

I am trying to be better though, and remember to keep that openness in my heart and mind. Terry Dobson, a famous Aikidoka once said in his book It’s A Lot Like Dancing, “You keep getting into fights because you are certain that you are right. So, stop always thinking you are right!”

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