Skip to main content
Ministry of Intrigue Ministry of Intrigue
  1. Dispatches/

Day Trade

·277 words·2 mins
Articles funny personal

Today, I was patrolling the transfer point again and I got ensnared in a conversation with one of the riders, who was quite clearly not right in the head. At first, he was just going on about the problems we had been having down at that area and how he gets angry at the kids for being so stupid. You see, he raised his kids to be respectful and that furthermore he has more influence down there than me, because they all know him and that he won't take any crap from them. This basically got repeated over and over again for about fifteen minutes. Things were slow at the time, so I humored him.

ME:

Smile and Nod. Smile and Nod. Make vaguely affirmative sound.

HIM:

More of the same really.

Finally, he said to me, "I saw you downtown this morning, man!"

I had not been downtown today, I was checking out detours and doing on-time performance checks for the system. "Really?" I said, "I don't believe I was downtown today."

He gave me a sly smile. "Come on! The ice cream shop? You pulled in to the back?"

I was lost, this weird little turn in our conversation was more than my tired mind could follow.

"Ice cream shop?" I asked, "I wasn't in an ice cream shop."

He laughed. "Well, you didn't come into the front man, you were in the back room with those three girls. I saw you, they had their shirts up. I didn't say nothin', man, but I saw you playin' with those titties!"

I like his version of my day a hell of a lot better than mine.