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I Am At War

·176 words·1 min
Daniel Andrlik
Author
Daniel Andrlik
Daniel Andrlik lives in the suburbs of Philadelphia. By day he manages product teams. The rest of the time he is a podcast host and producer, writer of speculative fiction, a rabid reader, and a programmer.

I am not a violent person.

I won’t even kill flies or bees if they annoy me, I usually just shoo them out the nearest window. In general, I have given up the insect-killing ways of my youth in favor of a more enlightened live-and-let-live perspective. However, the gnats must die.

At some point in the last week, some gnats got into my apartment and thought to themselves, “Hey, this is a nice spacious place! Let’s move in here and have a shitload of babies!” And ever since then, I have been in the hell of insect propagation.

At first I really tried to be patient and direct them out the door, but no more. I will fall among them as a wolf among lambs, and the sea will run whatever-color with the blood of my enemies. Tomorrow, as soon as I get off of work I am going to buy a ton of death-inducing chemicals to wield against the little creatures.

Lock and load, baby.

Buddha-nature or no, the little fuckers are going to pay.

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